


Aren't you bored?

by Ookamicky



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, Inner doubts, M/M, Sadly, and that's not what he has, suga noticing what he wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:53:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8444812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookamicky/pseuds/Ookamicky
Summary: Suga and Daichi have been together since forever but is that what Suga really wants?Some time with his friends, a party and a simple question is what it takes for him to doubt everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> YES I DO STILL LIVE!  
> and yes, i plan to update my other fics, worry not!  
> so after a few magi-not-so-nice one shots, i am back with haikyuu!!  
> this time without a happy end though, so be warned.

The same white ceiling above. The same white sheets beneath. The same guy next to him.  
Everything was the way it used to be for the past six years. The ceiling of their home. The sheets of their bed. The man he loved.  
He had been happy but lately he had asked himself if that really was happiness.  
Sure it was easy like this. Easy, without changes, the same routine.  
Waking up to the smell of breakfast, getting up to eat with him, getting dressed, leaving for work, being picked up by him after work, getting back home, spending a few hours together, back to sleep. Sometimes with sex before sleeping. 

Nothing exciting. 

On a day off there might be a date; eating in a fancy restaurant for instance.  
Sure, all of this was nice. But watching his friend's life made him wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was more to it. 

 

“Aren't you bored sometimes?”

An innocent question, but it had changed his life. Oikawa had asked that as a joke, he had most likely not even realized what it truly meant. But after questioning himself, he had noticed that yes, he was bored sometimes.  
It hurt.  
He loved him, he really did, but maybe the love wasn't what he needed. It had worked with them over the past years. Suga wondered, if he just hadn't noticed the signs. 

Thinking back, they had always been together. They had been best friends, so close, it was almost natural when they shared their first kiss. It hadn't been Suga's first, but he had found out that it had been Daichi's first.  
None of their friends had been surprised when they announced that they were dating. Most had known before they did.  
Suga had liked that nothing had changed between them. They had still been best friends, they were together a lot, they did things together; the only real difference was that they called their meetings “dates” and kissed each other good morning and goodbye.  
It had taken them about three months before they were brave enough to actually sleep together.

 

In the beginning Suga was excited. He was happy. Things were knew, exciting, but the actual change was not that big.  
And like almost every teenage boy, he was mostly happy to have someone who loved him. He didn't question his feelings. 

 

After a few years Daichi and him had moved in together. School was over, Daichi was in college and Suga had started to work. The routine between them felt good. 

Suga only noticed that it didn't feel as good as it should, when he went to a party with a few friends. "Boyfriend-free evening" was what Oikawa had called it. Suga did have fun.  
But when Oikawa and Kuroo started to talk about the sex they had with they boyfriends and the dates they went on, Suga had noticed that his life was really domestic.  
He felt like a mom in her fourties.  
Only he did not have kids. And he was only twenty-two.  
He had tried to avoid talking about him and Daichi that night. But Oikawa, being Oikawa, had dragged information out of him. Information about standard sex, standard dates and standard days. Kuroo had tried to be nice and commented something along the lines of “everyone should live the lives they want” but Oikawa was more blunt. 

 

“Aren't you bored sometimes?” he had asked and without waiting for an answer he had continued to talk about the amazing sex he could get with so much as a wink and some thigh highs. 

 

Previously, Suga hadn't thought much about sex. The sex he had was good by his standards, but he didn't have anything to compare it to. The talk with his friends had opened a new world to him. A world he started to explore online and quickly learned that it was his world as well. 

He had never been as painfully hard as he had been during that research. 

 

After that things felt different. The smell of the same breakfast every morning made him sick. The sound of Daichi humming when he waited for him to pick him up was stuck in his head and annoyed him so much, he got slightly aggressive. The sex started to feel boring. Sure, he got his release, but it felt more like a chore. 

 

It took him two weeks and a party to realize what exactly that meant. Two weeks, a party and a ridiculously hot guy who was flirting with him the entire evening.  
Oikawa and Kuroo had been amused to say the least. After the stranger had bought him a drink, they had started to tease Suga.  
He chose to ignore it.  
The party was nice, the music was good, the drinks had enough alcohol in them to lower his suspension a little and not enough to forget his own name. Plus, the flirting was really nice. 

Sure, there were people who flirted with him, guys and girls alike, but this was different. He could feel the tension, the want in the other's eyes.  
Suga did not even think of giving in.  
But part of him wanted Daichi to see this, wanted him to get jealous. Daichi had always trusted him. There had never been a hint of jealousy and somehow that annoyed Suga as well.  
Dancing now with this complete stranger, the music making them move against and around each other, the alcohol in his veins keeping him from thinking completely rationally, Suga noticed that he didn't love Daichi the way Daichi loved him.  
He had been jealous. Jealous of guys who claimed time with Daichi. Jealous of girls who wanted to get him to help them in school. Jealous of the people he had to work with. Now he realized that it wasn't because he was afraid Daichi could fall for them. 

It was because he was afraid to lose his friend. His friend that had been with him for years. His best friend. Not his lover. 

 

The night ended with Suga on Oikawa's couch, a bucket next to him and the contents of his stomach somewhere behind the club they had been dancing in.  
He felt miserable.  
The number in his pocket that he had gotten four shots before Kuroo had to help him out of the club felt heavy, like a burden. Suga was tired. The world was spinning, his mind was hazy and he wanted to pass out. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to try and sort his thoughts, didn't want to make a decision.  
A decision he knew he had already made. 

 

Suga woke up with a heavy hangover, but for a moment he was so confused about where he was and why he was there, that he didn't think about Daichi and him.  
That moment full of confusion and a heavy headache felt good in comparison to what was about to come.  
When he was awake, had downed his third coffee and took a painkiller, Suga knew he had to leave. Leave and face his boyfriend. 

Soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 

 

Three hours later, Suga was standing in front of Oikawa's apartment again. Most of his stuff was in a suitcase and his backpack. The first tear of the day left his eye the moment Oikawa wrapped his arms around him when he was inside.  
The first tear that was the start to a lot of tears. 

 

Suga never knew a break-up could hurt so much. On top of that, a break-up he himself had initiated.  
He was really glad that Oikawa and Kuroo didn't mind him sleeping in either of their apartments, depending on who had time and didn't want his boyfriend over. Suga honestly didn't know what he would have done, if he hadn't had them. 

His heart felt heavy, his world felt small and his mind cloudy. Suga was mostly sitting on a couch, eating and drinking what his friends gave him, eventually taking part in small conversations. 

After a few weeks, he started to built up his facade again. He actually moved around the house, made food for his host and talked, even laughed. His friends knew as well as he did that this was fake, but they let him be. 

A few months later Oikawa took him to a party. Suga had avoided leaving the house as much as possible, afraid to meet Daichi, but he couldn't hide forever. 

His first party as a free man.  
His first party without having to keep in mind that there was someone waiting for him to come home.  
Whether it was by chance or Oikawa's doing, Suga met the stranger again. They danced and drank without knowing anything about each other.  
This time the night ended with Suga walking home with his friends.  
He felt good. Light. Free. He felt the urge to try things, to test his limits and abilities. 

The next weekend he called the stranger. He didn't know his name but he knew, he was excited to meet him.  
To have him test him. He waited for the other to pick up.  
He was ready. Ready to start into a new life.  
Without his best friend, but with a lot of new things to explore.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it and i am officially sorry for what i did to daichi. ><  
> comments are still very welcome though  
> \- or talk to me on tumblr: http://ookamicky.tumblr.com/


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